Christopher Lee

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East European Invasion of UK? At Least The Cars Are Clean

23th April 2013

The UK is not worth invading. Says who? The Romanians and Bulgarians who are supposed to be all packed up to move to Britain when the EU work and travel restrictions are lifted in autumn 2013. But not to worry, the Dave & Nick dot co.uk will do something about it. And they’ll be encouraged by anti immigration groups that say the Bulgarians and Romanians are planning to arrive en masse, to steal jobs from Britons and Savilise their women.

Latest research released this week says that’s rubbish. The East Europeans say they’re coming but they don’t come. It’s not worth it anymore.

What’s going on here? British jobs and women were supposed to fall to the economic vandals from the east. The British, who typically don’t work anyway, certainly not cleaning cars, and the women, who are gradually taking the top jobs everywhere and so want more males to boss around, wanted the migrants in the UK.

The female bosses like kicking crap out of men while promoting more women into management and the lazy, moaning men want someone to blame for taking jobs they never wanted anyway.

But a BBC so-called investigation says the Bulgarian and Romanians will only turn up if they have guaranteed jobs. Why would that be, considering these two states are among the poorest in the EU?

If they can get jobs people from these two countries would go anywhere, especially if it’s local and they have not too many problems with the language. In spite of the migration alarm bell-ringers in the UK, the figures do not support their scare stories. When fifty per cent of people polled said they’d like to work abroad because it beats hanging around every street corner, only about six per cent made the move.

A recent poll showed that more than 60 per cent said although they’d like a better life they had not really considered leaving even when they said publicly they wanted to.

There’s something else to consider: the UK is no longer a prime workplace even for the have-nots in Europe. The word’s spinning around the ghettos of Eastern Europe that the government (sic) in the UK is no longer willing to hand out benefits to anyone with enough strength to cling for five hours to the axle of a 42 tonne truck between Calais and Dover. Southern seaside towns between Folkestone and Brighton are teeming with benefit fraudsters with curious accents (the British) and largely polite and hardworking builders, plumbers and sponge wielders (the illegals).

So what should happen?

Clearly the UK government (sic again) must campaign to tell the Eastern Europeans that the British Isles is a great place to come. Britain really should be a land of the cleanest cars in Europe, the best plumbing – considering the country is full of crap ideas – the best roofers, tilers, tenants (twelve to a caravan on average) and of course church collections. On the last point, it is clear that the Roman Catholic churches in the UK would be empty if it weren’t for Poles and other quick kneelers and candle lighters.

Each application should be guaranteed exemption from normal NHS treatment and exemption from normal classroom education for their children. BBC TV2 should be turned into Bulgarian with Cyrillic subtitled channels and freeview to the best BBC channel by miles, BBC Alba so they could learn the Gaelic and go live in Scotland where the people are more welcoming and better company even if they do drink whiskey with lemonade chasers.

Also the Come To Britain campaign should emphasise something even more important to our friends in the East. If they are football fans, unlike the British, they will be able to pronounce all the names in Premier Division teams – even the biters and bitten.

What could be better? Bupa for Romanian and Bulgarian passport holders, Eton for the boys, Cheltenham Ladies for the girls and Folkestone, Hastings and St Leonards be restored to their rightful owners – scrounging and work-shy British lounging dawn until dusk on the pebbles staring at the sea while lazily sipping from cider cans. Perfect. An idyllic setting for anyone wanting to come to the UK.

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One Response to “Christopher Lee”

  1. Dr Roberta Torkington Says:

    What can I say? I look out for these blogs. They make my day!!

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