Christopher Lee

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The British & Europe – both on the take from the same trough

15 October 2012

The British Home Secretary – the UK’s Internal Minister – says Britain is to opt out of 130 European Union measures on law and order including the dubiously managed European Arrest Warrant.  Reason for this?  The British government does not like foreigners from Continental Europe.

It won’t say that of course but that’s about it and, don’t let us kid ourselves that the reasonable LibDems feel differently and that they like everyone. There is no evidence other than the coding in their election manifesto that they are pro-EU. No one, not even Johnny Foreigner believes those bits of Vote Me paper.

In Bullingdon terms, Europe gives you gyp. France is self-centred, self-seeking and because (as De Gaulle noticed) is ungovernable because it produces 263 different cheeses.

Germany? We all know about the Germans and it does not help that they run Europe because they are very successful. Successful? Of course. They’re bailing out the sun-dried tomato Euro nations. And just look how smart they were   to get out of the BAe-EADS deal that was nothing more than a scam to deliver shedloads of money to the directors who would push off very quickly.

The East European lot are freeloaders of course who read too many Hello mags while under the claw-hammer of Moscow and who thought richness was Western Europe, especially the UK and came to get their hands on it. On top of that they have taken over from the Australians as the best bar staff in London. The Catholic Church loves them because they’re filling the pews and alms plates.

There are the lovely Italians who are embarrassingly likable, especially now that Berlusconi isn’t there – for the moment.  Trouble is, the nice Italians present Whitehall  with problems because they may be coming for a handout.

The Dutch, the nice quiet on-our-side Dutch could not be anything else but liked.  Wait a moment. All the Dutch, including Her Majesty, ride bicycles and since the Chief Whip got into fearful trouble with the Downing Street cops for wanting to ride his bike in the Prime Minister’s street and Boris is as much famous for riding his bike as he is for being more popular than the PM, then we don’t like nations with bikes.

As for Brussels, let us be clear: We don’t like the EU  winning the Nobel Peace Prize because as Europeans we’ve been killing masses of Iraqis and Afghans whereas the continental Europeans have been keeping their heads down from eyeballing foreign pig-sticking and so we think we should have got it.

Then there’s the Euro MPs – including the British lot- who are unashamed freeloaders at a time when British MPs at Westminster have to watch their own freeloading.

And of course, there’s the language.  Unless our ministers were at public schools or have slept for some time (in wedlock of course) with foreigners (at least one) then British ministers, like the people they represent, don’t do languages.

So the British people in whose name Ms May will call in the 130 protocols and laws and bin them in the back garden of her Home Office will give wholehearted support the plan to get power back into Westminster.  Of course they will.  Even if the dates have slipped their mind, the British have never liked and have been deeply suspicious of, all continental Europeans since the they were kicked out of Europe at the end of the 100 years war – 1337-1453. No don’t do the arithmetic, it’ll only confuse matters but it will uncompromisingly prove (to the British) that everything to do with numbers is a big fiddle in the hands of Europeans.

The British may not bother to cheer in the streets over this return of power to the people because if you think about it for a nanosecond, they never had the power in the first place.

The United Kingdom remains the most law driven place in Europe (well, on the edge of it). It is the most sinisterly guarded peoples with more CCTV cameras per capita than the whole of the continent – including the Eastern European despotic joints.

Furthermore, the chances of being dealt fairly by the British law are pretty slim.  A well liked judge pointed this out recently when he observed that the court’s function is not to get to the truth but to decide which side, on balance, had presented a better case.

So maybe it would be better to ignore the new laws (and there will be new ones to replace the ones we are getting back) and simply to be courteously judicial with the ones we have and also to recognize that Europe’s function is not, as we think, to support our mean prejudices, but as they said in Oslo, to bring more peace that was possible among the scattered tribes of Europe.

But as the British generals et al demonstrated this week, that’s not the British way at all.  To have moral distinctions is to ignore the hundreds of thousands of pounds sterling to be trousered by using contacts and patronage to suit themselves.  In fact, such sordid and sorry actions of these supposedly distinguished top brass is little more than the images they sneer every time Euro scams are mentioned.

And that of course is the nub.  The British don’t like Europe because the British behave like every one else but don’t like to hear it. Understand that, and you get much closer to understanding why the British deep down don’t want the EU, but their version of it. If it comes, they’ll be the verify first to get their snouts into its money strewn trough.

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